19.6.06
TSK.
A wrong start will never have a right ending. Yes, you can always change what you've started, but to be able to alter it is to actually begin again. And that is a tight spot.
For days, I'm literally doing nothing. Damn it. Am I just useless, or are they just too preoccupied to even care for what I'm up to? I'm done with what they asked me to do. What's next? They keep me hanging. And the more they do this the more I think that I don't belong here.
"I love what I do." I hear lots of people say that. Why can't I? And whenever I try to figure out the answer to this seemingly simple but naturally complicated question, I end up regretting one major decision I did in the past i.e. to let my self-doubting nature decide what path to take.
I used to know who I wanted myself to be, but I was unfortunate to persuade myself that I could actually be it. So I, being naturally apprehensive and anxious, took the wrong turn. I vindicated it, and convinced myself easily that it's the next best thing to being who I want. Now boom! my life has gone totally astray.
What's worse? I don't have the courage yet to start all over again.
A wrong start will never have a right ending. Yes, you can always change what you've started, but to be able to alter it is to actually begin again. And that is a tight spot.
For days, I'm literally doing nothing. Damn it. Am I just useless, or are they just too preoccupied to even care for what I'm up to? I'm done with what they asked me to do. What's next? They keep me hanging. And the more they do this the more I think that I don't belong here.
"I love what I do." I hear lots of people say that. Why can't I? And whenever I try to figure out the answer to this seemingly simple but naturally complicated question, I end up regretting one major decision I did in the past i.e. to let my self-doubting nature decide what path to take.
I used to know who I wanted myself to be, but I was unfortunate to persuade myself that I could actually be it. So I, being naturally apprehensive and anxious, took the wrong turn. I vindicated it, and convinced myself easily that it's the next best thing to being who I want. Now boom! my life has gone totally astray.
What's worse? I don't have the courage yet to start all over again.
// posted by jaena*** @ 16:06 
