14.8.06
I'm having muscle spasms. Argh. Can't even walk straight. It must be with the high heels plus the cold weather. I don't know. Sigh.
It's another Monday kaya tinatamad na naman ako magtrabaho. Not to mention the muscle pains I'm suffering right now. I should have just stayed home and made use of my neglected sick leaves.
...
Last night, we were at a family friend's house. The mum gave birth to her fourth child just recently, so we paid them a visit. The newly born child grows unbelievably fast. He's now about twice as big as when I first saw him in the hospital. The mum, on the other hand, looked physically exhausted although she seemed unsurprisingly contented.
I get to hold the baby in my hands. I took the initiative to take care of him for a few minutes to let the parents eat their meal and have some uninterrupted chats with my folks.
To hold him was easy. I was reluctant at first because he seemed so delicate and I was afraid that I might crush him unintentionally, but eventually his innocence and defenselessness made me want to look after him, even for just a few minutes. But then to my dismay, the baby burped and ejected milk. It was nasty. In panic, I immediately handed him back to his mum.
I have to admit that I'm not that fond of children. Up to now, I still wonder how I'll be able to raise my kids in the future. My husband will have to have a natural inclination to rearing kids, coz I know I don't have that. I'm completely ignorant in the field. Not to mention the fact that I am impatient. I can't even stand playing stupid games with kids for too long hours. How bad can I be?!
Honestly, observing the boy's mum last night completely turned me off to the idea of having children (too many children that is). I don't think I can handle that. To think about when and what to feed them, what they're going to wear, how to make them stop crying, how to wash them, how to keep them entertained, how to keep them healthy and smart, how to teach them good values, and all the other stuff all in one day? Tsk. I know I'll suck big time!
Actually, I don't even know why I'm writing about this now. What the heck? Maybe, in time, the natural high of being a mother will strike me. I don't know. But I do certainly hope so. Coz in the future, I would like to have 2 adorable and remarkable kids. I want them to be brave and smart like their mum and dad. I want them engaged in sports. I want them to have many friends. I want them to be admired by many. I want to have great kids. But I know that will never happen unless I transform into a great mum--which so far, is undoubtedly questionable!
It's another Monday kaya tinatamad na naman ako magtrabaho. Not to mention the muscle pains I'm suffering right now. I should have just stayed home and made use of my neglected sick leaves.
...
Last night, we were at a family friend's house. The mum gave birth to her fourth child just recently, so we paid them a visit. The newly born child grows unbelievably fast. He's now about twice as big as when I first saw him in the hospital. The mum, on the other hand, looked physically exhausted although she seemed unsurprisingly contented.
I get to hold the baby in my hands. I took the initiative to take care of him for a few minutes to let the parents eat their meal and have some uninterrupted chats with my folks.
To hold him was easy. I was reluctant at first because he seemed so delicate and I was afraid that I might crush him unintentionally, but eventually his innocence and defenselessness made me want to look after him, even for just a few minutes. But then to my dismay, the baby burped and ejected milk. It was nasty. In panic, I immediately handed him back to his mum.
I have to admit that I'm not that fond of children. Up to now, I still wonder how I'll be able to raise my kids in the future. My husband will have to have a natural inclination to rearing kids, coz I know I don't have that. I'm completely ignorant in the field. Not to mention the fact that I am impatient. I can't even stand playing stupid games with kids for too long hours. How bad can I be?!
Honestly, observing the boy's mum last night completely turned me off to the idea of having children (too many children that is). I don't think I can handle that. To think about when and what to feed them, what they're going to wear, how to make them stop crying, how to wash them, how to keep them entertained, how to keep them healthy and smart, how to teach them good values, and all the other stuff all in one day? Tsk. I know I'll suck big time!
Actually, I don't even know why I'm writing about this now. What the heck? Maybe, in time, the natural high of being a mother will strike me. I don't know. But I do certainly hope so. Coz in the future, I would like to have 2 adorable and remarkable kids. I want them to be brave and smart like their mum and dad. I want them engaged in sports. I want them to have many friends. I want them to be admired by many. I want to have great kids. But I know that will never happen unless I transform into a great mum--which so far, is undoubtedly questionable!
// posted by jaena*** @ 14:16 
