23.11.06
I tend to think that the thrill of bdays subsides as one grows old. As years pass, I realize that bdays are nothing but a big illusion--illusion that gives you reason to try to own the day, then oblige the rest of the world to revolve around you, and then get frustrated when they refuse to. But sheer fact is these are all human nature. We all have this tendency to give ourselves a day to break away from reality, to make ourselves believe that even just for 24 hours, a bad day can be good, or a good day can be better.
My bday always has the same psychological effect on me. The optimism either causes me extreme happiness or utter sadness. And if I remember it right, I spent my past 2 bdays sobbing under my sheets.
I do hope that this year would be different, but being under the same circumstances as last year's, it's hard to convince myself that tomorrow will be any better. I am trying though. I actually made few plans to spice up my weekend a bit. Hope it helps although I know that at the end of the day, things will remain the same. Time will fly like my bday never happened and I'll deal with reality like my bday is not part of it.
My bday always has the same psychological effect on me. The optimism either causes me extreme happiness or utter sadness. And if I remember it right, I spent my past 2 bdays sobbing under my sheets.
I do hope that this year would be different, but being under the same circumstances as last year's, it's hard to convince myself that tomorrow will be any better. I am trying though. I actually made few plans to spice up my weekend a bit. Hope it helps although I know that at the end of the day, things will remain the same. Time will fly like my bday never happened and I'll deal with reality like my bday is not part of it.
// posted by jaena*** @ 15:53 
