19.3.08

When people ask me to clasp my hands together, they would instantaneously conclude that I’m heart over mind. Maybe it’s true.



I’d say I do have a strong mind. It has sufficient control over everything in me. It is reactive. It understands me and whatever it is that’s happening to me. Yet still, I can’t help but feel that my emotions can be a tiny bit more powerful.

It has this pressure on me that distresses even my strong mind.

On jealousy for example. I often get jealous, but my mind chooses not to say it. And so I don’t say it, but somehow my emotions fight back causing me to show uneasiness or strange silence. Or when I’m getting very excited on something. I always tell myself not to think about it too much because I know how frustrating it is when things don’t go as I hoped for, but still deep inside I can’t help but feel keyed up and thrilled that in the end, when things do fail, I’m still as frustrated as I thought I would be or maybe worse, cause i knew I was going to be frustrated. Or when pissed off. I can say I’m not but my body language will still show that I am no matter how hard I convince myself I shouldn’t be, that’s I should just get over it because it’s not supposed to be that big a deal. Sigh. Frustrating.

How I wish I can turn my emotions on and off like a faucet. Life would have been a lot easier. I’ll be less vulnerable and less complicated. It’ll be safer.

Or maybe not. Maybe it’s ok. My mind tells me it’s ok. It’s just this emotion kicking in again.


// posted by jaena*** @ 10:00 0 comments

11.3.08

Something in the cycle of content writing and editing is funny in an annoying kind of way. The whole idea of someone deemed to be the expert content writer writing the material then a bunch of technical editors making revisions one after the other until the original writer can’t even recognise his own writing anymore sound really pointless to me. Something is just awfully wrong. It’s either the writer is just plain useless or the editors are just too obsessive-compulsive.

Or is it the number of editors? Before a material reaches a reasonably good state to go public, how many should actually have a look at it? Who gets the last say? I never thought that a statement as simple as “the ball is on the table” can take ages to hit the printer. Passing it on and on from one hand to another can transform it to something completely different from what you originally had in mind. Dealing with conflicting views from so called experts can be traumatic. Especially that they often just refer to the same thing, but they say them differently, reflecting their differences in culture, expertise and personal preferences.

I’ve come to realise that good writing, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone has his own opinion on what reads better. The disparity lies on who gets the authority to impose his opinion and how far that authority sits from the end of the writing and editing chain.

// posted by jaena*** @ 16:21 0 comments