BlaH!BlaH!BlaH!

Senti mode ako kahapon and so I unconsciously found myself reading through my old diary. I was amazed by how much I’ve written in there. There were lots of stuff in there that I can’t even remember anymore. Some are painful and some are nice. And I realised na ang arte ko pala. I imagine writing most of them in tears cause the way I wrote them was way too maarte, as if I’m the loneliest person in the world.

I've learned a lot about myself by just browsing through those pages. I have a terrible handwriting that’s for sure and it was worse when I wrote sad or mad entries. And I must have also loved pencils before. And scratch papers and torn pages from notebooks and post-its cause I have an awful lot of them. And my style of writing – anyone can right away say that it has improved tremendously from then and now.

Anyway, as I read through them, I realised how much I’ve changed. It’s fascinating to see your life suddenly playing before you like a movie as if you’re not part of it. you get to have a look at it in a third person point-of-view, hence giving you a more impartial look on how good and bad and pathetic and wonderful you were.

Looking back, I can’t help but laugh at myself. Ang arte ko grabe. And I also realised that I’m indeed quite a secretive person. I like keeping things to myself and my diary for that matter. Then I envision 30 years from now, some secrets of the past will come to life and cause fuss like that in Mara Clara and the story of the lost diary.

Another evident fact in my diary is how much I have loved karol. I was pathetic. He’ll surely laugh if he reads it. I thought I seriously unearthed the cheesiest slices of my thoughts. The entries on the post-its and scratch papers and torn pages from notebooks were actually all about him, which means that I had thought of him and had written about him an awful lot, perhaps while I was in a boring class or in a long jeepney ride. tsk.

Which reminds me! tomorrow, karol and I will celebrate our 4 yrs together. Wow. That’s a long time. Although, technically, we’ve only been together-together for a little over 2 years due to the dreading long-distance relationship set up we’ve obviously survived. But anyway, I see a lot more years for us. Enough said.

Lalala.

2 weeks to go. woot!

// posted by jaena*** @ 11:33